It has been a while. It has been almost exactly four years since I stepped out of the blogosphere and into life with elementary school kids. Phew. With M in 4th grade this year, the volunteering wanted has dropped way down, in fact I hope I can still go on her field trips! Thankfully, I'll still be able to get into A's classroom once a week. I really have enjoyed getting to know the school, the teachers and all of those other kids. It's so much fun to see the interactions, the varied personalities and amazing amount of energy those teachers put up with on a daily basis. I most always need a nap when I get home from just one hour of that intense involvement. Ha! However, this leaves me with a little more time in my day, for the first time in a long time. So, what's a girl to do? Follow her dreams? Okay then ... here it goes ... I just want to write. I have so much running around in my head at any given moment, I just want to get it all down and out into the world. Not that my thoughts are all that different than anyone else's, but every time I read letters from long ago, or hear individual stories, I am struck by the fact that what binds us is our similarities, our sameness, the fact that we get what other people say because we understand, we've been there too. In this same moment, I feel as if I need to tell my story, to put my own voice out among the masses because if not, if feels as though they speak for me too. My silence is agreement and acceptance. So, I throw my voice in among the many and know it can only make music.
I am currently reading 'What I Told My Daughter' a compilation of essays gathered by Nina Tassler about 'Lessons From Leaders on Raising The Next Generation of Empowered Women.' Right now I am caught in the cross-hairs of raising two girls in main stream America. Yikes. M will be 10 in two short weeks and A has already asked me if she is fat. I tend to be a 'tell it like it is' type of Mom, but I find myself hesitant in times like these. These waters we're stepping into are deep, and so colored with perspective that it's hard to know where to start. My sister and I frequently talk about our childhood and have vastly differing, if not opposing memories of events and even conversations as we grew up. Trying to tailor a message to each personality seems to be the way to go for me, as my girls couldn't be more different. But, at the end of the day, which message is it that I'd like to send? I think we all agree on the body image problem, and thanks to so many tools now available at the touch of a button, my girls already know that a picture of something does not mean it's real. They mess around with their own faces and see for themselves, first hand, how to squish cheeks, make bigger eyes and even join heads together. They even question photos from other parts of the world, asking how something could even be real. I like that, this questioning they're developing. I think this will take them much farther than any insight or lesson I could teach. Still, I grapple with which message I'd like to send. I want them to know that they can do/be anything they'd like to be in whatever form that takes. I caution them, however, to be mindful about choices they're making, even now. Music lessons, soccer practice and games already fill our calendar. Does adding in an art class make sense? One of my favorite quotes, credited to Abraham Lincoln, "Whatever you are, be a good one" speaks volumes to me and guides me in my own life. I try and pass this along when I can. Are you able to be a good soccer player, student, violinist and artist? How much downtime do you need to make sure you're getting your head clear? I think it has got to start with choices like this, now, that will lead them to question those same things as they grow and are faced with much bigger ones. Can I be the kind of person, wife and mother I want to be if I keep working outside my home? My answer was no, other women have answered yes, and that is a win-win. I feel like my girls will have the choice, I just hope to give them the tools to make informed decisions. This is probably the closest thing I'll get to a parenting philosophy ... to work myself out of a job. Give them the skills to ask the right questions, to seek out people who can help answer those questions and then, to always be true to themselves.
I digress, here it begins. I write again ...
Ponder on,
Hannah
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