If you want to get/stay in shape, there are a million ways you can go about it. Download an app to take you from 'Couch to 5K,' join a gym and meet a friend there every morning, add a bullet point to your day's to do list and check it off when you're done, sign up for an intensive program with a diet plan and work out schedule, hire a personal trainer or just make fitness a part of your every day life. There are different reasons why each one of these would work better for one person over another, but in the end it only matters for that person. Every person is so unique in their being, there is no 'one way' for getting and staying fit. And as long as we're on the subject, there is no 'one way' for anything else either. Each person's situation in the world is so specific to their circumstances, we shouldn't be able to prescribe any blanket solutions for any situation, ever. But, as we are humans who have evolved to need neat and tidy answers, those are what we cling to. 'If it works for me, it has got to work for everyone else.' We've all heard that 'Diversity is the spice of life,' right, well, I beg to differ, as I find spice to imply optional. Diversity is a requirement of life at it's very foundation, which is why we are now legally prevented from marrying our brothers, cousins and mothers. Strength comes with diversity, and right now, I'm not talking about race, religion or food (although I believe it applies there as well). I'm talking about ideas. We need a diversity of ideas and opinions and ways of being within our own lives, but in today's world it is an every diminishing commodity. Diversity exists, possible more than ever before, but we are not privy to it. In his book Messy: The Power of Disorder to Transform Our Lives, Tim Hartford talks about how we have self segregated our towns and cities and studies show that even in large universities, we only befriend people who are similar to us. Our Facebook feeds are ruled by algorithms that just show us more of what is like what we like. Pandora and Goodreads gives you more of what they think you want based on what you've already heard or read. This is not diversity. This is not expanding our horizons, but shrinking them. This creates tunnel vision under the illusion of broadness. We are tricked, albeit unintentionally, with the possibility of the World Wide Web and all it has to offer. In reality, we live in a current day version of The Truman Show. Our world ends with our likes, but it's painted to appear as if we're part of the wider world.
So, during the past few weeks, I've been all over the map. Hesitantly hopeful, cringing, hysterical, sobbing, broken hearted, inspired, motivated and despondent. I've tried to laugh, run it off, talk it out, rationalize and yelled at the radio a lot. Nothing has helped this overwhelming powerlessness that I feel. I've always been an active citizen to this country and have always felt like 'we the people' have power. But since November, I have just been confused. I thought we were mostly on the same page! I thought we were all meandering in the same direction and all was well. Sigh. We all know the rest of that story. BUT, here is where I have finally come to my own conclusion. I need to talk to people, I need to hear their stories (I have said this before, I know. It's still true!!) and know their lives. All of our homogeneousness has left me on the outside, but I have the keys. I can fix this.
Growing up in a small town, I knew everyone and everyone knew me. I was friends with my teacher's children, knew them as parents and teachers and saw them grocery shopping, just like everyone else. The mayor was another friend's uncle and a different friend's older brother was a cop. The janitor at my high school was also the basketball coach and on and on. We all knew everyone as a whole person, not just their likes on Facebook and we never thought our teachers slept at school! Point is, people are more than their photos on Instagram or their twitter feed. Sure, it all comes together in one, unique being, but no one piece of us represents us completely. I have come to think that maybe if we started to talk to our neighbors about real things instead of just seeing what they think is funny online, we might remember that we are a whole lot more alike than we are different. You can take that out as far as you want and I feel strongly that it applies. To religion, just trying to be the best version of ourselves and bring more good into the world, does it matter if you wear a headscarf or pray the rosary? I don't think so, but only if you understand where they're trying to go. To politics, wanting our nation to be a safe place to raise a family and follow our dreams, does it matter if you pin an elephant or a donkey on your tie? Maybe if I understood what someone was afraid of, it would be easier to fix than issuing a blanket ban. To living a healthy lifestyle, does it matter if you flip tractor tires, take a family walk or run a marathon? To dieting, does it matter if you eat egg whites, oatmeal, or salad for breakfast? You see my point. If we can focus on intent instead of the details, we might be more willing to see each other as humans instead of just Crossfit, Whole30 or Democrat. We are all people with more nuance than could ever be contained in a label.
Here is where I would ask, so, who's up? Who wants to talk? Alas, I'm in the same boat as everyone else and know very few people who are very different from me. I've got to figure out a way to go to the 'other' and make them part of my world. That will make a bigger difference than banging my head against the wall after I call 10 Senators and get only full voicemail boxes (kudos, though, to all those folks who are getting there before me!)
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