Being an unabashed introvert, it will not surprise you to hear that I am a thinker. While reading How To Think Like A Freak recently, one of the authors asked the question, 'How much time do you spend thinking? Do you spend any time really just thinking?" This led me to think about what role thinking plays in my own life. Well, it's a big one. Sure, you can say that we're humans, therefore we're always thinking and trust me, if you've ever tried to meditate, it feels like we cannot ever stop thinking. But what Levitt and Dubner are really asking is how much time we spend actually mulling things over, thinking about something instead of just absorbing what is hitting our brains with the force of water from a fire hose. Not much actual thinking when there's a fire hose involved. We are so bombarded, so surrounded and so steeped in opinions, images and headlines, I'm not sure we know where to start real thinking. Within the first chapters they propose that actually thinking about something, perhaps from a different point of view, or with a slight twist, we can work our way into explanations and eventually solutions for every day problems. The reviews on Goodreads weren't very kind to this book, saying it was 'dumbed down' and certainly 'didn't provide any actual help.' But along the way, they keep mentioning how we need to keep it simple, but not too simple. Peeling back the layers of our interconnected lives and constant awareness of everyone else's opinions, maybe it is that simple. Think about it. Think about a problem in a real, honest way and there may just be a solution, or at least an explanation, which could eventually lead to a solution. If it is that easy, why aren't people doing it, you ask? I didn't say it was easy, I said it was simple. Thinking about things isn't easy. It's hard and messy and very time consuming.
I believe, in order to be engaged citizens, mindful parents and all around good people, we must think. We must be informed about the opinions we carry and be able to change our position, intentionally, when the situation calls for it. Shaun and I have worked hard to create a life for ourselves that allows this. For me, it's silence. I pause the podcast, physically leave the computer or close the book for a moment. Being in silence gives the thought a little elbow room, going for a walk or run out in the sunshine gives it nutrients to grow and then finally discussing it with a friend brings all sorts of roots and branches to the thing that otherwise may have just slipped right in one ear and out the other. So, when asked if I think? Yes, I think. I think a lot. I've been told I think too much, an over-thinker perhaps. Alas, I'll take it.
In thinking about thinking, well, I started looking at all of the time, energy and effort that has gone into thinking in past versions of society. Women of Jane Austen's time, who certainly weren't headed for a boardroom or corner office, were still expected to have a solid grasp of mathematics, understand history, speak several languages, be proficient at an instrument know how to embroider, mend and manage a household. Men spent hours and hours in front of a chess board or engaged in political discussion. At least the upper crust of that particular society was expected to think quite a bit. I couldn't help but look at today's society and blink. Where is the space for thinking? Our instant culture wants reactionary soundbites and it wants them now. It also demands that we stick our steak into the ground on a side of every single issue that exists, and make sure it's deep. There are lots of examples I could give about me changing my opinion about something after I've had a chance to actually give it some thought. With no space for thinking, we react and then when called upon to defend our position, we simply end up further entrenched. Individual thinking is not even shown anymore, much less taught or fostered. I am not sure how we got here, and although I'm certain it would be an interesting research project, I am more curious about how we can move back toward actual thinking and into discussion about thoughts and ideas and opinions without any name calling, pouting or mudslinging (11 days until the election and counting). We certainly can look to no political entity, news broadcasting agency or social media outlet for a good example.
I also recently listened to a podcast (Inflection Point with Lauren Schiller) where I got to hear an interview with Joan Blades and John Gable. Joan is politically left and John is right. There is a lot they don't agree on, but there is much more they do agree on and they've decided to spread the need for listening and dialogue and thinking, (see, you knew I could tie it all together!) though something called Living Room Conversations*. You invite one person with a different view point into your home and each of you invite two friends. Six people with differing views then talk and listen to each other in a controlled and safe space. Real people sitting around a real home thinking, together, about real issues. This is how change happens. This is how thinking gets back into the mix. This is how we begin to see those areas where we do agree, instead of being blinded by the red or blue that we tend to color over every piece of a person's being. Not one of us is entirely one color, no one can be purely defined so easily, and when we start looking at places where we're both green, we can start to soften our own hard edges. We can slowly lift the tinted glasses through which we see our world. Once this happens, we can look at issues and problems within our communities with a much wider perspective and work on solving them, instead of worrying about defending our territory. Thinking about Congress makes steam come out of my ears when I hear more about not granting hearings for a Supreme Court Justice nominee. They're so busy defending and doubling down on this position, they're harming the foundation of our nation that already makes us great. I can see this happen all over social media as well. What once was a superficial crack between us has grown so deep and wide, we can hardly see the other side, much less realize there are actual human beings standing over there.
Can you think about an issue from the other side? Is it possible to take off those bias glasses and look at an issue straight on? Do you have people in your life with different views, opinions and life situations? Could you have a conversation with any of them about one of those differences and your relationship remain intact? I know I have people on either side of that question. But somehow, if we remain in each other's lives, doesn't that also mean we already have something in common? Even it if is only blood itself, it's something, right?
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*Joan and John have also founded an organization called All Sides for Schools which looks at bipartisan ways to help schools succeed. Also a terrific idea!
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